Here's some photos from my family and friends:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23814525@N02/
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The Big Day!
| Sun May 02, 2010 4:14 pm |   |
Well, the fiasco is over and done with and went off with only the minimal amount of hitches, in hindsight!
The day before everyone took off from work to get the final stuff done. Then-Fiance and I went to Enterprise rental cars to rent a luxury car for the weekend, which is actually cheaper than a limo and I found to be just as nice for the amount of driving we needed to be doing. (not alot) We ended up with a silver Cadillac DTS with leather interior and enough bells and whistles to make the space shuttle look like a kite. He then went off to pick up his tux and suit from Men's Wearhouse and find a shirt for his new suit and I drove the Caddy to mom and dad's to meet up with mom for some last minute shopping.
We picked up pens to sign the bridal portrait matte, some gifts for my sisters and niece who were my bridesmaids and flower girl, and picked up some flowers from Sam's to make our own arrangement for the church.
We got back home to find dad asleep on the couch with John Wayne movies on. So much for taking the day off to do stuff. I went home to find Then Fiance playing video games. (sigh) While the women run themselves ragged with last minute details, the men play and sleep. And they wonder how wedding details always end up getting taken care of and why the women always look so frazzled at these things. I then remembered I had forgotten to invite the priest, Father Mike, to the rehearsal dinner and reception after the ceremony, so I emailed him.
Then Fiance couldn't figure out how to tie his tie, so we end up being late to the rehearsal because I attempted to find a video on YouTube to demonstrate. No luck. And at 6:30 on a Friday in our city, you will be 30 minutes at least getting anywhere. We live on the other side of town from everyone else and the church so we were 50 minutes getting there from our house. Everyone was already set to go when we got there.
The wedding coordinator, Kendall, was on the ball. She had everyone lined up and running through the whole thing in a matter of minutes. Turns out my ring bearer, Sammy, was a tad shy about being around all these strangers, and even less happy about being put in a small back room away from his mother with only me as the familiar face. My 2 year old niece Maddie, also back there with us, decided the altar boys' vestments and rope belts were awesome play things, declared she wanted them, and started taking them off hooks. She ended up getting fussy when we stopped her. Meanwhile I'm trying to keep Sammy from starting to cry himself. His face looked like he was about to at any minute. I advised his mother later that she might want to sit int he row behind the groomsmen because Sammy was supposed to stay with them the whole time and he didn't know either of them.
And for the superstitious, no I did not walk all the way down the aisle with my dad at the rehearsal, I took a shortcut down the side. Some folks laughed. Some didn't. Father Mike ran through the ceremony with us and we signed all the documents. Kendall then told us the story of why she agreed to become the parish wedding coordinator. Apparently her own wedding was thrown into a turmoil when the priest didn't show up. It seems there had been a death at the hospital and he stayed to console the family and it totally slipped his mind. 30 minutes later from the start time, they realized the priest wasn't coming and frantic phone calls ensued to find one who could come do the mass. Finally one was located who said "I can do it, all I need is their names and about 10 minutes to get there and some prayers that I don't get pulled over by the cops..."
Because of that, Kendall's wedding was able to commence, and she now has the cell phone numbers of every priest within a 30 mile radius. The Diocese office calls HER when they need to get ahold of one of them fast.
So we finish up about 7:30pm and head over the restaurant where my chef cousins work for the rehearsal dinner. We had the back room to ourselves. I had warned my cousin Scott that my Fiance's father was an extremely picky eater. He's 86, grew up on an isolated farm and if his mother didn't fix it, he won't eat it now. That means anything other than pork, chicken, beans and cornbread are iffy to him. His explanation? "I'm just a country boy, I don't eat all that fancy stuff." His wife then snapped at him that she was a country girl who loved "eating all that stuff." (so that's no excuse) And apparently 2 of the 3 nephews are turning into picky eaters too. This nearly derailed us having the dinner at an Italian restaurant, until Fiance's mom informed all of them that they would indeed eat whatever was put in front of them and she better not hear any complaints from any of them. She meant it.
So my cousin came out to talk to the picky ones to ask what they wanted to eat. I had told him some form of chicken would probably work and and to not get fancy on any sauces or glazes. After a game of 20 questions, he found a vegetable they would eat...french fries. So he made chicken and french fries for them and Sammy and Maddie, the little ones. The rest of us got to enjoy an awesome Italian dinner like no other! I gave the bridal party their gifts: engraved pens and card holders for the groomsmen and ushers, Mignon Faget crosses to my sisters and niece and a silver train engine piggy bank with his name engraved on it to Sammy. A few toasts went around and some funny stories from the family about me and Fiance as kids. Scott even came back to check on us from the kitchen and offered a story about me of his own that involved something that would have gotten us both grounded had my parents heard it earlier.
It was 9pm by the time we all left. Sammy had fallen asleep in his chair, his father had had to take the baby home earlier, so I carried him out to his mom's car half asleep. Fiance went home with his parents. (ended up sleeping on the floor since his brothers and nephews all crashed there too) I went home to a very quiet night with just me and Jinx the kitten.
Fiance called the next morning to make sure I was up, but he didn't have to. Jinx woke me up at 5am wanting his breakfast and attention, something Fiance usually did. I plugged the ipod into the stereo and started to get ready to go while "Going to the Chapel" played int he background. Mom picked me up and brought me and all the stuff I had gathered the night before to their house. I went with my sisters to the hair salon to have my hair styled. That took 40 minutes of styling and pinning the head wreath in place. Brother in Law was supposed to bring little niece to the church later. Once we were done, we drove to the church to get into the "getting ready" room.
I fired up the netbook computer to get the webcam going and sent my cousin, a photographer, into the church to make sure none of the guys, especially Fiance, were hanging around so I could get set up. I had asked my cousin to get some shots of us until the actual photographer showed up, so she had come to snap shots of us at the salon and at the church getting ready. As I was setting up the webcam, brother in law's aunt who was doing the video showed up and I helped her get set up and ran back to the ready room.
I found the place in chaos. Apparently my brother in law had showed up with my niece, dressed in flannel pajamas in 90 degree weather with rain and humidity outside after feeding her a breakfast of animal crackers and chocolate milk. She didn't just throw up, she projectile vomited. Thankfully her blankie caught most of it. But some got on the floor and we had to strip her down. Then we had to hide her luvie because she wanted it and it was all nasty. Then she wanted her mother to hold her but my sisters didn't need her vomiting on their dresses either. THANKFULLY her other grandmother showed up in time to take her under wing and get her lying down and cooling off. She was burning up but we couldn't tell if it was a fever with the weather being what it was. Then my mother's sisters, my aunts, showed up. The one who was my godmother and her girlfriend helped me get into my dress while my other aunt and mom helped with my niece. Eventually we got it all sorted out.
Then the actual photographer showed up to snap some shots and we had to explain to her that my niece simply was not in any condition to put her dress on and pose for shots. We managed to get her dressed, though I gave the room key to my sister's mother in law and told her that if she had to, take Maddie back here to the room after we get her down the aisle and let her lie down. Then the photographer was getting irritated with my cousin taking all the pics and asked if she was going to be shadowing the whole time. After smoothing her feathers, I had to tactfully ask my cousin to hold off on the shots until the reception. (Though I will admit, my cousin got all the good "before" shots because the hired photographer was late.) I think my mom slipped my cousin some $$ but she's getting a coral necklace from Hawaii from me. Her younger sister, my other cousin, had rounded up the older girl kids, the 12 and 13 year olds, and had gotten them handing out ceremony programs. She's getting a necklace too. (She also got people singing the bridal portrait matte at the reception when I noted nobody had signed it yet)
Kendall showed up to herd us all back to the small room at the church. Thankfully Sammy was in a much better mood. His mother had essentially promised him a shopping spree at Toys or Us, and my brother in law's mother was able to hold a very woozy and unhappy Maddie and keep her calm. She's also a kindergarten teacher and was asking Sammy all about his learning centers and school and what he liked the best. I was struck with an idea. With my niece feeling bad and Sammy taking to her, I asked my sister's MIL to walk down the aisle with the kids. She said she wasn't really dressed for it. After assuring her she looked gorgeous, she carried Maddie down the aisle and held Sammy's hand. Crisis averted.
I honestly don't remember much about the ceremony itself, not even walking down the aisle with dad, since I was sort of in a haze. I do remember noting that my Fiance looked VERY yummy in a tux! He later said he was caught off guard by how beautiful I looked. He joked that it was a good thing we were in a crowded church or he might not have been able to show restraint.
The ceremony itself actually went pretty fast. Father Mike incorporated some personal tidbits into the sermon, including how we met because we both like to play Dungeons and Dragons. An uncle who was supposed to be a reader had to run off down to the coast to help with that nasty oil spill since he works at the Environment Department, so his wife, my aunt, stepped in a read in his place. After the ceremony, we took some shots on the altar. Then Fiance's middle brother drove us in the Caddy to Mount Hope Plantation. Everyone was waiting for us on the porch and applauded!
Wedding receptions are a case of being on a roller coaster for the couple. EVERYONE wants to talk to you. I've never been so popular. I know I missed saying hi to a few people, but I got to meet all of Now Husband's friends from school he talks about and he got to meet some of mine. I was glad to see several people I don't get to see that often, though disappointed some I was hoping to see didn't show or RSVP. (got a text from one of them though) I was also quite happy to see how well some of our gamer friends look in suits instead of the Star Wars and ThinkGeek tshirts.
We ran through the usual wedding reception staples, meet and greet, cutting the cake and toasting, couples first dance, parents' dance, money dance (Got $150!!) and the bouquet and garter toss. One of my cousins caught the bouquet and the nephews held up Sammy the ring bearer to catch the garter. My family got to do our favorite girls only dance to "We are Family" on the lawn.
Now Husband's brother then drove us off in the Caddy. We switched cars at the church and gathered up what we hadn't gotten out of the back room, then headed back to our house to drop stuff off, feed the kitten and pack for the night. We were staying at Mount Hope's honeymoon cottage in the back. When we got back to Mount Hope, everyone had left.
They had boxed up some of the food for us in a small refrigerator in the cottage and my youngest sister had packed some sodas for us. Being the geeks we were, we fired up the History channel on the TV.
We were so tired, we were asleep by 8:45. It's odd sleeping at a 300 year old Plantation. You keep expecting to see ghosts. Didn't though. Darn.
This morning we finished off party food leftovers for breakfast, headed to my parents' house to pick up the gifts people had brought and leftover wedding cake. (there's ALOT) Somehow we managed to get it all home, unpacked and unwrapped and whatnot. I have my bouquet in a glass vase that was a present and I'm bringing it to work tomorrow with the rest of the cake.
So Fiance is now Hubby!
We are married, we are sick on party food, wedding gifts have been put away, kitten was glad to see us (and has been sticking close all day) and we are exhausted.
And we're finally married!
Next up....the honeymoon trip to Hawaii!
Last minute details
| Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:36 pm | |
Made up a flower arrangement for the altar with flowers from Sam's.
The tuxes are finally sorted out.
got the financial stuff squared away.
picked up odds and ends that will be needed for ceremony and reception.
Spent the day juggling phone calls between priest, wedding coordinator, musicians, my sisters and the ceremony readers.
Rented a luxury car from Enterprise instead of a limo. It's niiiiiiiice.
Still have to get ready to go to rehearsal tonight.
Hair appointment early tomorrow morning.
Well this is it! I think I have my bases covered! I know I'll be walking down the aisle tomorrow remembered something I didn't do. Catch y'all on the flipside!
The tuxes are finally sorted out.
got the financial stuff squared away.
picked up odds and ends that will be needed for ceremony and reception.
Spent the day juggling phone calls between priest, wedding coordinator, musicians, my sisters and the ceremony readers.
Rented a luxury car from Enterprise instead of a limo. It's niiiiiiiice.
Still have to get ready to go to rehearsal tonight.
Hair appointment early tomorrow morning.
Well this is it! I think I have my bases covered! I know I'll be walking down the aisle tomorrow remembered something I didn't do. Catch y'all on the flipside!
A few snags
| Wed Apr 28, 2010 2:42 pm | |
Well Fiance just emailed. The tuxes are in. Middle brother and two sons went to go try them on. Theirs don't fit. They expect other brother and his son's might not fit either. I called my dad to tell him the situation. He said he had gotten the email that they were in, and intended to drop by this afternoon after work. He said usually his problem with rental tuxes has been everything was too long, so he joked that maybe this one would actually fit.
I'm glad they found this out today and not Friday.
The fun continues.
I'm glad they found this out today and not Friday.
The fun continues.
All aboard!
| Wed Apr 28, 2010 12:12 pm | |
Well folks, The Big Day is this Saturday at noon, Central time. I'm pretty sure y'all can think of a better thing to do with your Saturday, but if anyone wants to tune in and watch the webcast I'm doing for my out-of-state friends, here's the link:
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/my-big-fat-louisiana-wedding
I have no idea if we'll be able to get it working, or how long it will work, but it's a nice experiment for a 21st century wedding!
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/my-big-fat-louisiana-wedding
I have no idea if we'll be able to get it working, or how long it will work, but it's a nice experiment for a 21st century wedding!
Is that a cliff ahead?
| Wed Apr 28, 2010 11:04 am | |
Last night I hauled out everything we had received for the wedding and took things out of boxes and started putting stuff away so stuff isn't stacked up a mile high in the spare room, and the stuff I ordered for the wedding itself, like reception favors and my garter and such, are all in the same place and easily grabbed.
I wrapped the wedding party gifts.
Fiance and I spent 2 hours stuffing little mints into organza bags and taking bubble bottles shaped like wedding cakes out of boxes, and putting everything into bags for transport to reception place. Kitten Jinx was in heaven with all the stuff for him to crawl into and shred. We spent half the time chasing him away from the little frilly bags and tissue paper. He was having great fun! He couldn't understand why we wouldn't let him play with all the neat stuff.
We realize we don't have a designated person to drive the favors, bridal portrait, and guest sign in book to reception location the morning of the wedding. Hoping my cousin can do it.
We had hoped one of his brothers could drive the car we are renting from Enterprise and act as chauffeur. (cheaper than a limo, and we're getting a Mercedes) Brother was hesitant, because he needs to arrange a ride home for himself. Fiance is still trying to convince him. (I want to ask a friend of ours who might be more reliable) This is the same brother who frequently sports a ratty mullet and is currently refusing to cut his hair because he occasionally donates it. He's resisting requests from me, Fiance and Fiance's mother to cut it for the wedding, let it grow back and donate later. I guess it doesn't matter if he looks like 1990's Billy Ray Cyrus in a tux in my wedding pictures.
Fiance says if his brother's hair is still ratty on Friday night, he is personally cutting it off by force. (Or he can hold the guy down and let the nephews do it, brother's own 2 sons have been after him to cut it, they would be thrilled to be allowed to take scissors to their father's hair) Glad I'm not the one spending the night at his parents' house! (That's where Fiance is staying the night before, as is brother and nephews)
So many details keep cropping up, like the photographer can't be there until 11:30 (ceremony at noon) and the wedding coordinator doesn't think that's enough time to shoot "getting ready" pics, so I asked my cousin Sarah, the budding photographer, to do it, as well as come with us to the salon to shoot pics of us getting our hair done. Mom says I shouldn't have done that because cousin would be offended that we didn't ask her to shoot the entire wedding.
I then covered butts by telling cousin the reason I didn't ask her to was the same reason I didn't ask my chef cousins to cater, or my confectioner aunt to do the cakes, that I didn't want the family working the day of my wedding. (which is true actually) Sarah hasn't given any indication that she's offended at all and said she'd come to do the early pics
Mom worries too much about that sort of thing, "who am I offending?"
Then we don't have a frame for the bridal portrait at the reception place, so married sister Katie suggested getting just a blank white matte to put it in, and have people sign it, which I thought was a cute idea, so Fiance's looking for that today. Mom was put out that the photographer didn't frame the portrait. Given sister's idea, I'm glad she didn't. I like the signing idea.
I'm also juggling emails and phone calls between wedding coordinator, photographer, and brother in law's aunt who will be doing the videotaping.
Then someone pointed out that I accidentally left the ring bearer's name off the wedding ceremony programs. Can't reprint them now. I apologized profusely to his father, a friend who works with me. Friend assured me it was ok. I remembered him in the wedding announcement though.
Oh yes, the wedding announcement: It was supposed to run in the paper last Sunday, but photographer didn't want to send me a jpeg of the picture she took I had chosen to upload to the newspaper, told me to send her the pdf form filled out and she would upload everything to the newspaper website herself. Apparently she forgot, or it didn't go through, because it didn't run last week. So I redid the form, used a screen capture to grab the pic I wanted from her website, then uploaded everything myself. It'll run the day AFTER the wedding. I probably infringed some copyright to do that though.
And another thing: turns out the flowers we're getting from the reception place DID NOT include flowers for the church. Apparently we had discussed it but had balked at the final price and had decided to put it off. Funny, I remember thinking the big arrangement WAS included in what we discussed, but when I looked at it again, apparently not. We didn't want a ton of flowers anyway, but we did want SOME. So parents and I plan to run to Sam's Club Friday morning and grab an arrangement from their flower department. They're usually quite nice.
Still to do in the next 48 hours:
1) Make up a good luck charm purse to carry with me with stuff like fur from my black cat Jinx (it's good luck to meet a black cat on your wedding day), a cowrie shell, a small bell to scare away the evil spirits, an acorn for good luck, some rose quartz for love and a red thread to tie around my left wrist.
2) Hope Fiance's present from me to him comes in and wrap it. (I'm getting him an MP3 player to listen to on that long flight on the honeymoon)
3) write up thank you cards for gifts. I had two lists and I can't find one, so I'll have to rewatch the video of one of my showers of me opening gifts and see if I can figure out who gave me what from that day.
4) deposit $$$ to give payment to wedding coordinator and stipend to priest on Friday night.
5) Confirm all reservations for Friday and Saturday and all honeymoon reservations. We still don't have a confirmation letter from Fiance's parents' timeshare company saying they are gifting us their time at the hotel so we aren't sleeping on the beach.
6) load trip itinerary from TripIt.com to applications in new iPod Touch that was a gift. (whoohoo!) Researching some travel apps and Hawaii guidebook apps to install. Also planning to load some Hawaii movies on it to watch on the plane, like Lilo & Stitch, Blue Crush, and a few of the old Elvis Hawaii movies Blue Hawaii and Paradise Hawaiian Style.
7) Remind Fiance on Thursday to pick up his tux and free suit he gets from Men's Wearhouse for having more than 5 people rent tuxes on our ticket.
8) Arrange for reception place to give my parents the top tier of the cake and wedding cake topper at end of reception, and Fiance's parents the grooms cake.
9) See if cousin can bring favors, portrait and guestbook to reception place that morning.
10) shop for some tank tops for Hawaii and new bathing suit. (can probably do next week)
11) Pay my state income tax, it'll be due when I'm away in Hawaii.
12) Get portrait matte to sign at reception and flowers for church from Sam's
13) Pick up key from church for room where we'll get ready.
No pressure....not at all.
I wrapped the wedding party gifts.
Fiance and I spent 2 hours stuffing little mints into organza bags and taking bubble bottles shaped like wedding cakes out of boxes, and putting everything into bags for transport to reception place. Kitten Jinx was in heaven with all the stuff for him to crawl into and shred. We spent half the time chasing him away from the little frilly bags and tissue paper. He was having great fun! He couldn't understand why we wouldn't let him play with all the neat stuff.
We realize we don't have a designated person to drive the favors, bridal portrait, and guest sign in book to reception location the morning of the wedding. Hoping my cousin can do it.
We had hoped one of his brothers could drive the car we are renting from Enterprise and act as chauffeur. (cheaper than a limo, and we're getting a Mercedes) Brother was hesitant, because he needs to arrange a ride home for himself. Fiance is still trying to convince him. (I want to ask a friend of ours who might be more reliable) This is the same brother who frequently sports a ratty mullet and is currently refusing to cut his hair because he occasionally donates it. He's resisting requests from me, Fiance and Fiance's mother to cut it for the wedding, let it grow back and donate later. I guess it doesn't matter if he looks like 1990's Billy Ray Cyrus in a tux in my wedding pictures.
Fiance says if his brother's hair is still ratty on Friday night, he is personally cutting it off by force. (Or he can hold the guy down and let the nephews do it, brother's own 2 sons have been after him to cut it, they would be thrilled to be allowed to take scissors to their father's hair) Glad I'm not the one spending the night at his parents' house! (That's where Fiance is staying the night before, as is brother and nephews)
So many details keep cropping up, like the photographer can't be there until 11:30 (ceremony at noon) and the wedding coordinator doesn't think that's enough time to shoot "getting ready" pics, so I asked my cousin Sarah, the budding photographer, to do it, as well as come with us to the salon to shoot pics of us getting our hair done. Mom says I shouldn't have done that because cousin would be offended that we didn't ask her to shoot the entire wedding.
I then covered butts by telling cousin the reason I didn't ask her to was the same reason I didn't ask my chef cousins to cater, or my confectioner aunt to do the cakes, that I didn't want the family working the day of my wedding. (which is true actually) Sarah hasn't given any indication that she's offended at all and said she'd come to do the early pics
Mom worries too much about that sort of thing, "who am I offending?"
Then we don't have a frame for the bridal portrait at the reception place, so married sister Katie suggested getting just a blank white matte to put it in, and have people sign it, which I thought was a cute idea, so Fiance's looking for that today. Mom was put out that the photographer didn't frame the portrait. Given sister's idea, I'm glad she didn't. I like the signing idea.
I'm also juggling emails and phone calls between wedding coordinator, photographer, and brother in law's aunt who will be doing the videotaping.
Then someone pointed out that I accidentally left the ring bearer's name off the wedding ceremony programs. Can't reprint them now. I apologized profusely to his father, a friend who works with me. Friend assured me it was ok. I remembered him in the wedding announcement though.
Oh yes, the wedding announcement: It was supposed to run in the paper last Sunday, but photographer didn't want to send me a jpeg of the picture she took I had chosen to upload to the newspaper, told me to send her the pdf form filled out and she would upload everything to the newspaper website herself. Apparently she forgot, or it didn't go through, because it didn't run last week. So I redid the form, used a screen capture to grab the pic I wanted from her website, then uploaded everything myself. It'll run the day AFTER the wedding. I probably infringed some copyright to do that though.
And another thing: turns out the flowers we're getting from the reception place DID NOT include flowers for the church. Apparently we had discussed it but had balked at the final price and had decided to put it off. Funny, I remember thinking the big arrangement WAS included in what we discussed, but when I looked at it again, apparently not. We didn't want a ton of flowers anyway, but we did want SOME. So parents and I plan to run to Sam's Club Friday morning and grab an arrangement from their flower department. They're usually quite nice.
Still to do in the next 48 hours:
1) Make up a good luck charm purse to carry with me with stuff like fur from my black cat Jinx (it's good luck to meet a black cat on your wedding day), a cowrie shell, a small bell to scare away the evil spirits, an acorn for good luck, some rose quartz for love and a red thread to tie around my left wrist.
2) Hope Fiance's present from me to him comes in and wrap it. (I'm getting him an MP3 player to listen to on that long flight on the honeymoon)
3) write up thank you cards for gifts. I had two lists and I can't find one, so I'll have to rewatch the video of one of my showers of me opening gifts and see if I can figure out who gave me what from that day.
4) deposit $$$ to give payment to wedding coordinator and stipend to priest on Friday night.
5) Confirm all reservations for Friday and Saturday and all honeymoon reservations. We still don't have a confirmation letter from Fiance's parents' timeshare company saying they are gifting us their time at the hotel so we aren't sleeping on the beach.
6) load trip itinerary from TripIt.com to applications in new iPod Touch that was a gift. (whoohoo!) Researching some travel apps and Hawaii guidebook apps to install. Also planning to load some Hawaii movies on it to watch on the plane, like Lilo & Stitch, Blue Crush, and a few of the old Elvis Hawaii movies Blue Hawaii and Paradise Hawaiian Style.
7) Remind Fiance on Thursday to pick up his tux and free suit he gets from Men's Wearhouse for having more than 5 people rent tuxes on our ticket.
8) Arrange for reception place to give my parents the top tier of the cake and wedding cake topper at end of reception, and Fiance's parents the grooms cake.
9) See if cousin can bring favors, portrait and guestbook to reception place that morning.
10) shop for some tank tops for Hawaii and new bathing suit. (can probably do next week)
11) Pay my state income tax, it'll be due when I'm away in Hawaii.
12) Get portrait matte to sign at reception and flowers for church from Sam's
13) Pick up key from church for room where we'll get ready.
No pressure....not at all.
Showers
| Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:26 pm | |
Last Thursday, my coworkers threw me a wedding shower! When I walked in the conference room, what I thought was going to be just a cake and some Hawaiian punch turned out to be a full spread on the conference table covered with a tablecloth that matched my colors, cookies, dips, a fruit tray and sandwiches! WOW!
There was so much of it we ended up inviting in other departments to help us finish it off! The department got together and gave us a gift certificate to Lowe's so we can start remodeling the house. When you've lived together for 6 years, you really have all the stuff for your household most people give you at the wedding. What we need to to update that household because it's still somewhere back in the late 60's. Thanks everyone!
Then this past Sunday, my aunts threw a bridal tea for me. We drove out to my aunt's house in Covington and had an old fashioned southern tea party! When we walked in, she had set up a table with little craftable tea hats, ribbons, fake flowers and notions and a hot glue gun so we everyone could decorate a tea hat to wear. Everyone had to bring a tea cup that had some sort of history behind it to tell everyone what that history was.
I don't have an old teacup, just the Walmart variety, so mom dragged out the old china cups for me and my sisters to use. I got one that had belonged to my crazy aunt Thelma.
Fitting.
There were at least 6 different types of teas (my aunt discovered Teavana in the mall), scones and pastries and cucumber salads. And Fiance's mother got a kick out of my crazy female relatives. I also got a bread making machine as a gift!
My little niece Madeline was getting a kick out of being allowed to drink pink lemonade out of her little porcelain Madeline tea cup like a big girl, though my sister practically followed her around ready to catch anything that dropped at a second's notice!
It was a blast!
My list of things to take care of is whittling down.
There was so much of it we ended up inviting in other departments to help us finish it off! The department got together and gave us a gift certificate to Lowe's so we can start remodeling the house. When you've lived together for 6 years, you really have all the stuff for your household most people give you at the wedding. What we need to to update that household because it's still somewhere back in the late 60's. Thanks everyone!
Then this past Sunday, my aunts threw a bridal tea for me. We drove out to my aunt's house in Covington and had an old fashioned southern tea party! When we walked in, she had set up a table with little craftable tea hats, ribbons, fake flowers and notions and a hot glue gun so we everyone could decorate a tea hat to wear. Everyone had to bring a tea cup that had some sort of history behind it to tell everyone what that history was.
I don't have an old teacup, just the Walmart variety, so mom dragged out the old china cups for me and my sisters to use. I got one that had belonged to my crazy aunt Thelma.
Fitting.
There were at least 6 different types of teas (my aunt discovered Teavana in the mall), scones and pastries and cucumber salads. And Fiance's mother got a kick out of my crazy female relatives. I also got a bread making machine as a gift!
My little niece Madeline was getting a kick out of being allowed to drink pink lemonade out of her little porcelain Madeline tea cup like a big girl, though my sister practically followed her around ready to catch anything that dropped at a second's notice!
It was a blast!
My list of things to take care of is whittling down.
Got it!
| Mon Apr 19, 2010 4:10 pm | |
Got the marriage license! At the very least, we'll be legit on May 1st!
Climbing that hill
| Wed Apr 14, 2010 2:34 pm | |
2 1/2 weeks to go! And still to do:
--confirm wedding night reservations
--send wedding announcement to newspaper
--print ceremony programs
--get someone to drive the Cadillac we're renting instead of a limo for the wedding day
--get gifts for our parents
--send final payments to church musicians and wedding coordinator
--write up and send thank you cards from bridal shower
--at the end of next week, send final head count to reception place
--confirm honeymoon reservations and rehearsal dinner reservations
--wrap gifts for parents and bridal party
--bring basket and cake topper to florist/cake people
--get a garter
--find something old, new, borrowed, blue and get that sixpence mom got for me when we went to England.
--type up a list of 'to-get" shots for the photographer and brother in law's aunt who is doing the video.
--give final head count to rehearsal dinner restaurant
--get the marriage license and bring to priest some time next week.
And I'm sure some other details will pop up before then too!
(sigh)
I need some Valium....
--confirm wedding night reservations
--send wedding announcement to newspaper
--print ceremony programs
--get someone to drive the Cadillac we're renting instead of a limo for the wedding day
--get gifts for our parents
--send final payments to church musicians and wedding coordinator
--write up and send thank you cards from bridal shower
--at the end of next week, send final head count to reception place
--confirm honeymoon reservations and rehearsal dinner reservations
--wrap gifts for parents and bridal party
--bring basket and cake topper to florist/cake people
--get a garter
--find something old, new, borrowed, blue and get that sixpence mom got for me when we went to England.
--type up a list of 'to-get" shots for the photographer and brother in law's aunt who is doing the video.
--give final head count to rehearsal dinner restaurant
--get the marriage license and bring to priest some time next week.
And I'm sure some other details will pop up before then too!
(sigh)
I need some Valium....
Birth Certificates
| Tue Apr 13, 2010 12:28 pm | |
We're running into a technical problem....presenting a certified copy of a birth certificate so we can apply for a marriage license. Turns out the one Fiance's mom had was a short form copy...good enough for a driver's license, but apparently not for a marriage license. So Fiance is taking time off during lunch to run downtown to get a certified copy.
Thankfully the one my mom had in the safe deposit box IS a certified copy, which saves me a trip. She got it out this morning and called to tell me.
Convo:
So now that we are on the way to having our certified copies, we can go get our marriage license some time next week.
Thankfully the one my mom had in the safe deposit box IS a certified copy, which saves me a trip. She got it out this morning and called to tell me.
Convo:
| Mom: Well I got your birth certificate out of the box this morning, and it IS a certified copy. Me: You're sure? Good that'll save a trip down to the 'hood. I hear Plank Road is lovely this time of year. (Fiance) had to go down at lunch to get his. Mom: Ick. Well good news, you're legitimate! Me: Imagine my relief! I wondered for a while there. It actually SAYS that on there? Mom: (laughing) No, but they used to do that. Stamp it with legitimate" or "illegitimate". Ever saw that movie "Bastard out of Carolina?" Me: Don't think so. What for? The stamp I mean. Mom: Something to do with inheritance. You couldn't inherit anything from your parents if you were illegit. Mostly it was about the whole "sanctity of marriage" thing by making your bastard kids pay for your mistakes. Me: And I thought our modern marriage laws were stupid. |
So now that we are on the way to having our certified copies, we can go get our marriage license some time next week.
| Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:49 pm | |
I'm planning to test out the streaming video thingy this weekend. My sisters are throwing me a shower and I was going to test my netbook's webcam abilities by broadcasting some of it on my Ustream setup. If anyone wants to watch a bit of it and let me know if there are any glitches, feel free to do so.
So today I:
1) Booked the last of the Hawaii outings. We will be swimming with the dolphins at Sea Life Park, attending a Luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center, going for a submarine ride, visiting Iolani Palace, seeing the USS Arizona memorial, driving down to Hanauma Bay, and I'm getting a Lomi Lomi massage. We also plan to visit the Dole Pineapple plantation in there somewhere. Wonder if they're doing tours of the "Lost" filming locations?
2) Booked a luxury rental car from Enterprise instead of a limo for the wedding day
3) Fiance stopped by Clerk of Court to inquire about marriage license requirements. We'll need to dig out our birth certificates.
4) Typed up the program for the wedding. Need to get paper and print those out.
Still to do this week:
1) Bring flower girl basket and cake topper to florist/cake place at reception center.
2) Send a bridal picture to newspaper for wedding announcement
3) print programs for ceremony
4) Find a going-away outfit to change into. (I probably need some new summer clothes for Hawaii too. My shorts are all raggedy)
Bridal Portraits
| Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:30 am | |
Well, Celeste the Photographer called. The bridal portraits are done!
Go to her website:
http://celesterelle.com
then go to the Clients section. The password is the wedding date: 050110
I thought they came out nice except for one thing.....are wedding portraits SUPPOSED to make you look like you weight 20 pounds heavier? Maybe I need a girdle.....
Go to her website:
http://celesterelle.com
then go to the Clients section. The password is the wedding date: 050110
I thought they came out nice except for one thing.....are wedding portraits SUPPOSED to make you look like you weight 20 pounds heavier? Maybe I need a girdle.....
| Thu Mar 25, 2010 1:39 pm | |
Correct bridesmaids dresses are in and fit everyone nicely!
Ring is being resized.
Bridal portraits tomorrow at Mount Hope Plantation and we're hoping this morning's rain does not return and that everything outside dries up quickly! going to pick up my bouquet and head wreath this afternoon for the pictures.
Met with church music coordinator and got the ceremony music all planned out.
Soon to be mother in law sent us all this to give us a few pre-wedding giggles:
The runaway train is gaining speed!
Ring is being resized.
Bridal portraits tomorrow at Mount Hope Plantation and we're hoping this morning's rain does not return and that everything outside dries up quickly! going to pick up my bouquet and head wreath this afternoon for the pictures.
Met with church music coordinator and got the ceremony music all planned out.
Soon to be mother in law sent us all this to give us a few pre-wedding giggles:
From: Subject: How to be a gracious bitch Date: Tues. 23, 2010 HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS BITCH Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.. ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it,'' she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day..'' A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear.....I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.'' (NOW I ASK YOU - IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS STORY?) __________________________________ Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected! |
The runaway train is gaining speed!
| Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:39 am | |
Bridesmaids dress issue being dealt with. We should have the correct ones in around April 1. When I went in, I had to all but twist someone's arm to get some decent service. They couldn't understand why we wouldn't just take the wrong dresses, since they were the correct color. I also had to endure a 5 minute explanation as to why the wrong ones were ordered. (they were never put into the system)
I don't care, just get me the damn dresses. And they thought I was going to make a fuss over the fact that the correct dresses are each $10 more expensive. Since I only have 2 bridesmaids, paying$20 was not going to break my bank.
Then Fiance got my ring back from the jeweler's.
Because my engagement ring was so unique and because I work at two jobs that require me to not have alot of jewelry on my hands, I decided to have shadow bands attached to either side of my engagement ring, embellishing it and making it into the ring I would then use as my wedding ring.
It fit fine unaltered. But when we get it back from the jewelry store, with the shadow bands on, it is now too small. And because the two bands are welded, resizing it will be "very hard."
I can get it on, but getting it off is actually scary. It took me ten minutes to wiggle it off and my finger still hurts.
(sigh)
Now what?
I don't care, just get me the damn dresses. And they thought I was going to make a fuss over the fact that the correct dresses are each $10 more expensive. Since I only have 2 bridesmaids, paying$20 was not going to break my bank.
Then Fiance got my ring back from the jeweler's.
Because my engagement ring was so unique and because I work at two jobs that require me to not have alot of jewelry on my hands, I decided to have shadow bands attached to either side of my engagement ring, embellishing it and making it into the ring I would then use as my wedding ring.
It fit fine unaltered. But when we get it back from the jewelry store, with the shadow bands on, it is now too small. And because the two bands are welded, resizing it will be "very hard."
I can get it on, but getting it off is actually scary. It took me ten minutes to wiggle it off and my finger still hurts.
(sigh)
Now what?
| Fri Mar 12, 2010 5:21 pm | |
Married sister just called. She went by David's Bridal to pick up the bridesmaid's dresses.
They're the wrong ones.
The style they ordered was the style my sisters tried on then decided against because it made them look bigger around the waist. They eventually had agreed with the style I originally wanted.
The salesgirl ordered the wrong style. They have to re-order the dresses.
The wedding is in 6 weeks.
Now I have to call and chew someone out. I should have known something was up when they left a message on my cell phone looking for my youngest sister to say the dresses were in, and then told the mother of my ring bearer the wrong color for the kid's tie. Someone copied down alot of wrong information.
(sigh)
They're the wrong ones.
The style they ordered was the style my sisters tried on then decided against because it made them look bigger around the waist. They eventually had agreed with the style I originally wanted.
The salesgirl ordered the wrong style. They have to re-order the dresses.
The wedding is in 6 weeks.
Now I have to call and chew someone out. I should have known something was up when they left a message on my cell phone looking for my youngest sister to say the dresses were in, and then told the mother of my ring bearer the wrong color for the kid's tie. Someone copied down alot of wrong information.
(sigh)
| Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:37 am | |
1. rehearsal dinner finally planned
2. currently getting wedding rings sized, should be done in 2 weeks
3. met with florist and cake people to discuss flower arrangements
4. emailed photographer and set up bridal sitting photo shoot, then called florist back to make sure head wreath (no veil for me) and bouquet will be done in time. Emailed photographer back to get time straightened out since location doesn't open as early as she wants to be there.
5. Got 3 new outfits for showers and a going-away outfit. (apparently nothing I own is appropriate)
6. Called tux rental place to verify the ring bearer's tie color is correct, then emailed his mother to confirm his tie should be clover green and not silver.
7. Called Hawaii and made appointment to go swimming with the dolphins at Sea Life park.
8. printed out wedding invitations
9. Contacted church music coordinator to inform her that we are willing to pay the exorbitant price she and piano player are asking for to do the music for the ceremony.
Did all that yesterday.
To do by this weekend:
1. Find a printer that will print out the wedding invitation envelopes without leaving a huge honking ink blotch on the front. (no idea why my printer is doing that, it prints everything else just fine)
2. Fill out DJ forms for reception place with song lists and whatnot.
3. Make plans to get dress altered.
4. Find SOMEONE to do my hair and makeup at 8am the day of the bridal sitting photo shoot and make appointment.
5. finish booking Hawaii outings
6. Print the damn invitation envelopes.
7. print RSVP cards and maps to location. (must also pick up some card stock from Office Depot)
8. Call about LA license requirements.
9. Mail invitations.
Whew!
2. currently getting wedding rings sized, should be done in 2 weeks
3. met with florist and cake people to discuss flower arrangements
4. emailed photographer and set up bridal sitting photo shoot, then called florist back to make sure head wreath (no veil for me) and bouquet will be done in time. Emailed photographer back to get time straightened out since location doesn't open as early as she wants to be there.
5. Got 3 new outfits for showers and a going-away outfit. (apparently nothing I own is appropriate)
6. Called tux rental place to verify the ring bearer's tie color is correct, then emailed his mother to confirm his tie should be clover green and not silver.
7. Called Hawaii and made appointment to go swimming with the dolphins at Sea Life park.
8. printed out wedding invitations
9. Contacted church music coordinator to inform her that we are willing to pay the exorbitant price she and piano player are asking for to do the music for the ceremony.
Did all that yesterday.
To do by this weekend:
1. Find a printer that will print out the wedding invitation envelopes without leaving a huge honking ink blotch on the front. (no idea why my printer is doing that, it prints everything else just fine)
2. Fill out DJ forms for reception place with song lists and whatnot.
3. Make plans to get dress altered.
4. Find SOMEONE to do my hair and makeup at 8am the day of the bridal sitting photo shoot and make appointment.
5. finish booking Hawaii outings
6. Print the damn invitation envelopes.
7. print RSVP cards and maps to location. (must also pick up some card stock from Office Depot)
8. Call about LA license requirements.
9. Mail invitations.
Whew!
| Feb 22, 2010 12:35 pm | |
Engagement party at mom and dad's:
1) Spent all day Saturday cleaning what is not a small house! My sister is a hoarder and it's taken over the entire upstairs with nastiness and it was making its way down the steps. I managed to get all her nasty crap back up into the upstairs (and some thrown away) and make the downstairs look like civilized people live in the house again. Required three rounds of sweeping and mopping twice, a coat of Future on the Mexican tile floor and wood floor cleanser on the wood floors, scented candles all over and a massive scrubdown, but the house looked awesome. A kiddie gate kept people from going upstairs and seeing the horror. The cleaning also involved cleaning up all the cat puke and dog pee that never gets cleaned up from the 3 Persian cats and chihuahua because my parents are not physically able to anymore and my sister never cleans up after herself much less her animals. I took the steam cleaner and hit the carpets and furniture and made the entire downstairs look brand new.
2) The table was covered in enough food to feed a third world country: deviled eggs, dips, veggie trays, cheese trays, a bowl of grapes, miniature cheesecakes, slices of mini salamis, chicken salad sandwiches, and trays of olives. None of it was left by the end of the night.
3) My flower girl (2 year old niece) and ring bearer( 6 year old son of some friends) get along great. They were running screaming through the house, which drove my mother up the wall, and my niece was bossing him around. His father told him "Son that's just a prelude of things to come."
The kid was very patient with my niece.
4) Family got to meet friends, friends got to meet family, massage coworkers got to meet all of the above. Everyone wanted to hear about our issues with the board.
5) When playing hostess, there is always a level of guilt that you didn't spend nearly as much time with (insert name) as your should have, that you hoped (insert name) wouldn't feel left out or like they didn't know anyone. I did make an effort to talk to everyone and say goodbye to whoever was leaving.
6) Niece wanted me to come in the back and watch Elmo with her. Felt guilty that I really couldn't. Once everyone had left, I went back there with her and collapsed on her Elmo pull out chair with her. (She had gotten her jammies on) My middle sister, her mother, found us nearly out cold and almost hated to pick up niece to bring her home. (We looked so cozy, she said) I for one was not in favor of moving at that point, until Fiance pointed out that if I didn't, I'd be spending the night upstairs with youngest sister because he was going home. =o) Funny how motivating that is.
7) Cleanup was alot faster than I thought since it was all on disposable trays and there wasn't much left! House was still pretty clean. Had to endure my mother criticizing how my friends let their son run around like an animal. OK first of all, he's a 6 year old boy and he's rambunctious and the crush of people and noise wound him up, he's not like that regularly. Second, you knew it was going to be mayhem. And third, we'll talk about who let's their offspring run around crazy after we examine who let their youngest daughter, at 27 years old ( my youngest sister) run around in an outfit she's all but falling out of, forget to take her anti-hyper medicine and in general run around making inappropriate jokes at my and Fiance's expense thinking she's being cute and ordering me around with such jewels as "Ashley, our cousins have been here for 20 minutes, why don't you go say hi to your family rather than jabbering about geek shit over here with your pals?" (in front of my friends) I went, but to get her away from my friends, not because she ordered me. One of our guy friends turned to my fiance and said "Wow. Just Wow." Fiance could only sigh and say "yeah." So let's not go criticizing my friends' parenting of a 6 year old, shall we?
Other than that, though, I think everyone had a good time. I avoided youngest sister and had fun showing my friends where I had grown up.
Can't wait to see what the Bridal shower my sisters are throwing me is going to be like.
1) Spent all day Saturday cleaning what is not a small house! My sister is a hoarder and it's taken over the entire upstairs with nastiness and it was making its way down the steps. I managed to get all her nasty crap back up into the upstairs (and some thrown away) and make the downstairs look like civilized people live in the house again. Required three rounds of sweeping and mopping twice, a coat of Future on the Mexican tile floor and wood floor cleanser on the wood floors, scented candles all over and a massive scrubdown, but the house looked awesome. A kiddie gate kept people from going upstairs and seeing the horror. The cleaning also involved cleaning up all the cat puke and dog pee that never gets cleaned up from the 3 Persian cats and chihuahua because my parents are not physically able to anymore and my sister never cleans up after herself much less her animals. I took the steam cleaner and hit the carpets and furniture and made the entire downstairs look brand new.
2) The table was covered in enough food to feed a third world country: deviled eggs, dips, veggie trays, cheese trays, a bowl of grapes, miniature cheesecakes, slices of mini salamis, chicken salad sandwiches, and trays of olives. None of it was left by the end of the night.
3) My flower girl (2 year old niece) and ring bearer( 6 year old son of some friends) get along great. They were running screaming through the house, which drove my mother up the wall, and my niece was bossing him around. His father told him "Son that's just a prelude of things to come."
The kid was very patient with my niece.4) Family got to meet friends, friends got to meet family, massage coworkers got to meet all of the above. Everyone wanted to hear about our issues with the board.
5) When playing hostess, there is always a level of guilt that you didn't spend nearly as much time with (insert name) as your should have, that you hoped (insert name) wouldn't feel left out or like they didn't know anyone. I did make an effort to talk to everyone and say goodbye to whoever was leaving.
6) Niece wanted me to come in the back and watch Elmo with her. Felt guilty that I really couldn't. Once everyone had left, I went back there with her and collapsed on her Elmo pull out chair with her. (She had gotten her jammies on) My middle sister, her mother, found us nearly out cold and almost hated to pick up niece to bring her home. (We looked so cozy, she said) I for one was not in favor of moving at that point, until Fiance pointed out that if I didn't, I'd be spending the night upstairs with youngest sister because he was going home. =o) Funny how motivating that is.
7) Cleanup was alot faster than I thought since it was all on disposable trays and there wasn't much left! House was still pretty clean. Had to endure my mother criticizing how my friends let their son run around like an animal. OK first of all, he's a 6 year old boy and he's rambunctious and the crush of people and noise wound him up, he's not like that regularly. Second, you knew it was going to be mayhem. And third, we'll talk about who let's their offspring run around crazy after we examine who let their youngest daughter, at 27 years old ( my youngest sister) run around in an outfit she's all but falling out of, forget to take her anti-hyper medicine and in general run around making inappropriate jokes at my and Fiance's expense thinking she's being cute and ordering me around with such jewels as "Ashley, our cousins have been here for 20 minutes, why don't you go say hi to your family rather than jabbering about geek shit over here with your pals?" (in front of my friends) I went, but to get her away from my friends, not because she ordered me. One of our guy friends turned to my fiance and said "Wow. Just Wow." Fiance could only sigh and say "yeah." So let's not go criticizing my friends' parenting of a 6 year old, shall we?
Other than that, though, I think everyone had a good time. I avoided youngest sister and had fun showing my friends where I had grown up.
Can't wait to see what the Bridal shower my sisters are throwing me is going to be like.
| Feb 10, 2010 8:57 pm | |
Me and mom have hit a compromise: we've added fiance's cousins that he wanted and two of her friends she wanted to invite which brings us to 7 people over our limit. Mom will pay for 10 extra people which gives us a little wiggle room should people start showing up with uninvited guests.
| Feb 09, 2010 1:07 pm | |
The wedding stress train has officially hit.
I spent yesterday trying to catch up on stuff that needed to be done, and it was an expensive day, even with the do-it-yourself invitations and Walgreens save-the-date cards.
I dropped off the deposit to reserve the church and fee for the music coordinators and wedding coordinator. Yeow that was a bit more expensive than I had planned for.
Ordered gifts for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers and flower girl. (all siblings, nieces and nephews)
Ordered blank invitations to print on my computer
Ordered save the date cards with our picture on it from Walgreens
Bought wedding favors from Oriental Trader for the reception. (mints in tulle bags and little bottles of bubbles in the shape of wedding cakes, better than rice or birdseed)
Sent in the engagement announcement for the newspaper. (Used to be free, now they're charging for it)
I get home and it's game night with the guys at our house for Fiance, so I locked myself in the back room with the cats and finished the guest list.
Then I emailed it to the mothers. That's when the stress really started. (after checking my credit card statement for all those purchases, it still stings) Fiance's mom is pretty easygoing about all this, but I know there are some more relatives she wants to invite and didn't, relatives my fiance was fairly close to growing up. We only have 120 spaces for the reception and we get fined if we go over that, so we've been pretty conservative on who we're inviting. Then my mom responds and tells me she wants to put on a couple of her friends from work and the third cousins she was close to as a kid, who are sweet people but seriously I don't know them that well and I see them MAYBE once a year. But they invited mom to their kid's wedding so she wants to invite them to mine.
That puts us at *1* spot left in the reception, and what if people bring unexpected girlfriends or boyfriends? And what about fiance's relatives? I pointed this out to her, to which she suggested I take off a few people here and there that are not really people I want to take off. (like my friends)
I told her we'd have no choice but to up the contract for the reception to include more people, which is an expense I really don't need right now with my second income on hold at the moment. (haven't been able to do massage for 6 weeks now)
Here's the conundrum, and I apologize in advance if it makes me sound like a spoiled brat. I'm really trying to take great pains to NOT be a bridezilla and appreciate what I do have and consider how fortunate I am to even be able to have this wedding when so many other couldn't, even priding myself on being able to cut and slash on unecessaries and find cheaper prices than otherwise when I can. My sister's wedding was an extravagant day. My sister got the cathedral downtown, the old governor's mansion as a reception center, 7 various showers, luncheons and parties and a cruise to the Bahamas, all more or less paid for by my parents. (The groom's parents really dropped the ball on us) I know that was alot of money that could have been better spent on such things as house and car payments, and later supplies for my baby niece. But part of me still says "Well SHE got (insert whatever) but I'm not good enough for the same?" I'm trying to quiet that voice but it isn't easy.
I have a limit on what I will comfortably pay for a wedding before I start feeling guilty and eyeballing the flowers and limo and thinking about the home renovations we could have done instead. I am at that point right now. I don't want to spend much more than I have. If my mom wants all this extra stuff, fine, but she can pay for it, because I can't afford it.
I know my sister's wedding put a crimp in my parents' finances. I don't want to ask them for much nor do I want to drive myself into debt again.
Because Fiance and I are older and settled in our jobs, we were determined to pay for as much of this as we could. And so far so good. His parents are retired and on a fixed income, my mom's retired and they still have debt, so we didn't want to ask them for much. But I didn't expect total reluctance on the part of my parents to help at all. Especially with crap THEY want, like extra people at the reception, a bridal sitting with the photographer. I also didn't expect to not have my second income get suspended right before the last few, and most expensive months, of planning started up.
I asked my mom about renting a limo, she said it was too expensive, but I noticed it wasn't expensive when my sister wanted one. (yes I know that makes me sound like a jealous whiny baby) So Fiance and I are renting a luxury car from Enterprise and getting a friend to play chauffeur.
Mom wants to add another $1,000 to the reception contract just so we can have room for relatives I barely know, OR she wants me to remove friends of ours from the list. This is exactly what my grandmother did to her that she swore she wouldn't do to us. Yeah right. I'd be more willing if she were willing to pick up the extra cost, which she said she'd do with other stuff months back but never did so we paid for it anyway.
Meanwhile Fiance's mom is wanting to pay for all the tux rentals, and we're trying to convince her that her grown sons are more than capable of paying for their own tux rentals as well as their sons'. She's paying for the rehearsal dinner and I've already decided to back out on the place I wanted because it's too expensive and I don't want her paying that much money on it. Currently looking for other restaurants.
So I have Fiance's mom wanting to pay for everything but not really financially able to, and my parents wanting all these extras, probably able to pay for it, but neglecting to do so.
So what will end up happening is me and Fiance end up paying for all the extras my parents want but likely wont' contribute to, while convincing his mom that she doesn't have to pay for anything else, even though she wants to, because she can't. (they still have hurricane damage repair payments they're trying to meet because insurance wouldn't cover putting a new roof on the house) Hell, his parents have already contributed their timeshare time to the honeymoon to Hawaii, which still needs saving up for since we've already used the honeymoon fund to pay for the wedding stuff that ended up being more expensive than we had budgeted for.
When is enough enough? And why the hell didn't we elope?
(sigh)
I spent yesterday trying to catch up on stuff that needed to be done, and it was an expensive day, even with the do-it-yourself invitations and Walgreens save-the-date cards.
I dropped off the deposit to reserve the church and fee for the music coordinators and wedding coordinator. Yeow that was a bit more expensive than I had planned for.
Ordered gifts for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers and flower girl. (all siblings, nieces and nephews)
Ordered blank invitations to print on my computer
Ordered save the date cards with our picture on it from Walgreens
Bought wedding favors from Oriental Trader for the reception. (mints in tulle bags and little bottles of bubbles in the shape of wedding cakes, better than rice or birdseed)
Sent in the engagement announcement for the newspaper. (Used to be free, now they're charging for it)
I get home and it's game night with the guys at our house for Fiance, so I locked myself in the back room with the cats and finished the guest list.
Then I emailed it to the mothers. That's when the stress really started. (after checking my credit card statement for all those purchases, it still stings) Fiance's mom is pretty easygoing about all this, but I know there are some more relatives she wants to invite and didn't, relatives my fiance was fairly close to growing up. We only have 120 spaces for the reception and we get fined if we go over that, so we've been pretty conservative on who we're inviting. Then my mom responds and tells me she wants to put on a couple of her friends from work and the third cousins she was close to as a kid, who are sweet people but seriously I don't know them that well and I see them MAYBE once a year. But they invited mom to their kid's wedding so she wants to invite them to mine.
That puts us at *1* spot left in the reception, and what if people bring unexpected girlfriends or boyfriends? And what about fiance's relatives? I pointed this out to her, to which she suggested I take off a few people here and there that are not really people I want to take off. (like my friends)
I told her we'd have no choice but to up the contract for the reception to include more people, which is an expense I really don't need right now with my second income on hold at the moment. (haven't been able to do massage for 6 weeks now)
Here's the conundrum, and I apologize in advance if it makes me sound like a spoiled brat. I'm really trying to take great pains to NOT be a bridezilla and appreciate what I do have and consider how fortunate I am to even be able to have this wedding when so many other couldn't, even priding myself on being able to cut and slash on unecessaries and find cheaper prices than otherwise when I can. My sister's wedding was an extravagant day. My sister got the cathedral downtown, the old governor's mansion as a reception center, 7 various showers, luncheons and parties and a cruise to the Bahamas, all more or less paid for by my parents. (The groom's parents really dropped the ball on us) I know that was alot of money that could have been better spent on such things as house and car payments, and later supplies for my baby niece. But part of me still says "Well SHE got (insert whatever) but I'm not good enough for the same?" I'm trying to quiet that voice but it isn't easy.
I have a limit on what I will comfortably pay for a wedding before I start feeling guilty and eyeballing the flowers and limo and thinking about the home renovations we could have done instead. I am at that point right now. I don't want to spend much more than I have. If my mom wants all this extra stuff, fine, but she can pay for it, because I can't afford it.
I know my sister's wedding put a crimp in my parents' finances. I don't want to ask them for much nor do I want to drive myself into debt again.
Because Fiance and I are older and settled in our jobs, we were determined to pay for as much of this as we could. And so far so good. His parents are retired and on a fixed income, my mom's retired and they still have debt, so we didn't want to ask them for much. But I didn't expect total reluctance on the part of my parents to help at all. Especially with crap THEY want, like extra people at the reception, a bridal sitting with the photographer. I also didn't expect to not have my second income get suspended right before the last few, and most expensive months, of planning started up.
I asked my mom about renting a limo, she said it was too expensive, but I noticed it wasn't expensive when my sister wanted one. (yes I know that makes me sound like a jealous whiny baby) So Fiance and I are renting a luxury car from Enterprise and getting a friend to play chauffeur.
Mom wants to add another $1,000 to the reception contract just so we can have room for relatives I barely know, OR she wants me to remove friends of ours from the list. This is exactly what my grandmother did to her that she swore she wouldn't do to us. Yeah right. I'd be more willing if she were willing to pick up the extra cost, which she said she'd do with other stuff months back but never did so we paid for it anyway.
Meanwhile Fiance's mom is wanting to pay for all the tux rentals, and we're trying to convince her that her grown sons are more than capable of paying for their own tux rentals as well as their sons'. She's paying for the rehearsal dinner and I've already decided to back out on the place I wanted because it's too expensive and I don't want her paying that much money on it. Currently looking for other restaurants.
So I have Fiance's mom wanting to pay for everything but not really financially able to, and my parents wanting all these extras, probably able to pay for it, but neglecting to do so.
So what will end up happening is me and Fiance end up paying for all the extras my parents want but likely wont' contribute to, while convincing his mom that she doesn't have to pay for anything else, even though she wants to, because she can't. (they still have hurricane damage repair payments they're trying to meet because insurance wouldn't cover putting a new roof on the house) Hell, his parents have already contributed their timeshare time to the honeymoon to Hawaii, which still needs saving up for since we've already used the honeymoon fund to pay for the wedding stuff that ended up being more expensive than we had budgeted for.
When is enough enough? And why the hell didn't we elope?
(sigh)
| Thu Jan 28, 2010 12:30 pm | |
It's ramping up! 3 1/2 more months to go!
1) Wedding gown....check
2) Church and reception location booked.......check
3) Honeymoon hotel and flight booked......check
4) Pre-Cana and initial meetup with priest.....check
5) Flower girl.......check
6) Ring bearer......check
7) Bridesmaids dresses picked and ordered.....check
Still to do by the end of next month:
1) Guys need to get fitted for their tuxes, they're going this weekend
2) Turn in paperwork to priest and meet to plan out ceremony (next week)
3) go chat with florist and cake person at reception hall to decide on what we want (appt for that in 2 weeks)
4) Book restaurant for rehearsal dinner
5) Send in engagement announcement to newspaper
6) Contact wedding/music coordinator at church to discuss those details. (turns out she was in my sister's class in high school, small world!)
And to think I'm actually AHEAD of the game in alot of areas! Sheesh!
1) Wedding gown....check
2) Church and reception location booked.......check
3) Honeymoon hotel and flight booked......check
4) Pre-Cana and initial meetup with priest.....check
5) Flower girl.......check
6) Ring bearer......check
7) Bridesmaids dresses picked and ordered.....check
Still to do by the end of next month:
1) Guys need to get fitted for their tuxes, they're going this weekend
2) Turn in paperwork to priest and meet to plan out ceremony (next week)
3) go chat with florist and cake person at reception hall to decide on what we want (appt for that in 2 weeks)
4) Book restaurant for rehearsal dinner
5) Send in engagement announcement to newspaper
6) Contact wedding/music coordinator at church to discuss those details. (turns out she was in my sister's class in high school, small world!)
And to think I'm actually AHEAD of the game in alot of areas! Sheesh!
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