Where oh where...

Well since it will now be less than a year before our wedding, Russell and I have been looking more seriously at locations for this whole shebang. I didn’t want to get started too early lest I burn out with wedding stuff long before anything is supposed to be burned out from. But on the other hand, I didn’t want to wait until the last minute to start booking things, because I wanted to be sure to have everything where and when I wanted to have it. For instance, I know reception halls and churches book up fast, so I wanted to get that handled quickly, as well as reserving the timeshare in Hawaii for the honeymoon, courtesy of his parents.

On the other hand, I don’t think it’s necessary to even start looking a bridesmaids dresses yet, since we’ll all likely gain and lose weight in the next year anyway. Plus we’re still trying to be sure the only people we want in the wedding party are our two siblings, his two brothers and my two sisters. I’d sort of like to have more but who to ask that will make for an even number without offending someone else? I’d really like to have my brother in law as a groomsman but that leaves us a girl short for one of Russell’s brothers to walk with.

Sigh.

My first choice of reception location has always been Mount Hope Plantation on Highland Road Dr. Built in 1790, it’s one of the oldest buildings in Louisiana, full of history, and fitting with the antebellum Southern theme I want for my wedding. In fairness, I also decided to check out The Gatehouse, The Lakehouse and White Oak Plantation (not a real plantation, built this century as a reception hall, but looks like one and is beautiful).

Mount Hope and Lake House

http://www.lakehousereceptioncenter.net/


White Oak

http://www.jfolse.com/whiteoak/index.htm


The Gatehouse

http://www.stage1gatehouse.com/


I am also fairly adamant that I do not want to get married in St. George’s church. No offense to my uncle, the pastor at the time, who busted some behind to get it built, but St. George’s current church is built for pew space, not beauty. To get down the aisle, one must walk about 30 yards, make a 90 degree turn, then walk up another 20 yards on rather unimpressive tile to an altar surrounded on 3 sides and catcornered by pews meant to hold around 3,000 people. The kind of small wedding we were going to have would easily make us feel dwarfed in there, like we were having it in a cavern.

http://www.st-george.org/


St. Jude church, while large, is still smaller than St. George, has a straight aisle, is more cozy and traditional looking, and best of all, it’s less than a mile from Mount Hope on Highland Road.

http://www.stjudecatholic.org/


So last Saturday, my parents, Russell and I rounded up Russell’s mom Ms. Eva, and we all visited Mount Hope and St. Jude and then went out to lunch. We were all quite impressed with Mount Hope, me and Russell for the setting, and my parents for the spectacular package deal they offer. When Katie and Adam got married, we ended up spending a lot more than we should have trying to coordinate a lot of individual elements on our own. We now understand why there are such a thing as professional wedding coordinators who handle all that mess. Doing it yourself makes for a lot of expense and a lot of sleepless nights, not to mention frustration trying to get all of these people to talk to each other.

But at Mount Hope, they handle everything, the catering, the location, the setup, the cake, the DJ, the grooms cake, the flowers, all of the individual things that can make wedding planning a nightmare. And they do it for a fraction of the cost. Plus, none of these people are going to be banned from the facilities like the florist for Katie’s wedding was banned from the cathedral and didn’t tell us until the day before, because all of these people do business with Mount Hope and would like to keep it that way. We’re going to have a very nice wedding for a lot cheaper than most people have it, and they allow you to pay everything month by month so we’re not getting saddled with a huge bill the month of the wedding.

Thankfully, I’ve been saving about $200 a month since Russell asked me last year, so we already had plenty for the 20% deposit they require to reserve your date. If you start saving a bit each month, you can have a fairly nice wedding without taking a major financial hit. It’s all in the preparation, planning ahead well in advance and looking for deals and places to cut corners without sacrificing the quality. It CAN be done if you’re patient enough to do the research.
Just for good form, I visited the Gatehouse and Mount Hope, but Gatehouse, while nice, was not as ambient as Mount Hope and White Oak was outrageously expensive. Plus my two cousins who are chefs who used to work there said the food quality has gone down and is not worth the price you pay for it.

So Mount Hope it is.

I went by the main offices to put down the deposit and sign all the papers. When the girl asked how I would be paying, I asked if they took cash and she said yes. So I whipped
out the “Wedding Fund” envelope that has been stashed under my mattress for the last year and 4 months and began counting out 20’s. The look on the girl’s face was priceless, but not as priceless as that of the manger who walked in after I had asked her to double check my counting. He came in and saw the piles of 20’s in $100 stack and asked, jokingly, what kind of drug deal he just missed. (grin)

So we are set for May 1st, 2010.

I then called St. Jude to ask if we could have the ceremony there. Father Mike said I had to make sure to get on their calendar first and he could handle getting the permission for an out-of-parish ceremony. It just figured that St. Jude didn’t have their May 2010 calendar up yet when I called, but said I was “penciled in” for that date. Which means I should probably call back this week or next and verify that.

Still need to register for Pre Cana and that fills up fast.

Compatibility

It was slightly weird to go back to St. George and walk around, seeing so much that has changed and so much that has stayed the same. My family has been away for a long time, mostly because we couldn't stand the previous priest who was there. But now, the new guy, Father Mike, is there and he seems to be much more welcoming and good natured. He's the sort of clergy you wish every clergy would be more like, upbeat and non-judgmental and really interested in helping people with thier spiritual path than making sure you're toeing the line. He didn't even give us hell about the fact that we live together, even though he didn't go so far as to condone it. Maybe it's because we are an older couple, me being 32 and Russell being 41. We're pretty much where we're going to be in our careers and life outlook, and we've had more life experience than the average young 20's something kid marrying thier high school sweetheart.

We were going for our pre-wedding consultation, where the priest assesses the couple's readiness to get married. First they have to make sure it isn't shotgun, because the Catholic church takes marriage as a lifelong thing, so they won't perform the ceremony if they think you're doing this against your will or if you're not ready for it.

We had to take an online compatibility test and meet back with Father Mike to discuss our results. It was pretty extensive, like 100 questions. I'm amazed when I tell people we had to do this and they are suprised. "Wow you had to do all that!?"

My response: "You DIDN'T?"

Personally I think it's a damn good idea to take a professional personality/compatibility test and discuss it with a spiritual counselor. It's always a good idea to have an unbiased objective outside opinion overlook somethign like this so they can be sure to point out something you might be missing or in denial about the other person, like the fact that if he doesn't respect you now, he likely won't 30 years from now. What me and Russell found out was that we are quite compatible but need to talk more about fiances and spiritual matters, which have since started doing.

At any rate, we passed the compatibility test, and Father Mike really didn't have much to say, which, he pointed out, was a good thing. Fewer issues means fewer difficulties. He emphasized communication above all things, which we seem to have a really good grasp of. Of course, I agree, since lately I have seen one too many of my friends' relationships hit major snags that could have been resolved with a good honest dose of communication.

On to the next phase: scheduling Pre-Cana seminar.